Here Ye Here Ye! Looking for Fathers

Are you currently unemployed and looking for for full time 24/7 365 days a year work.  Well look no further we have a job for you.  Currently receiving applicants for the job title of Father.  Qualified candidates should have a good self-concept of the paternal role in a family setting and a high level of self-esteem.  Such duties may include: diaper changing, feeding, defending from harm, maintenance of proper nutrition, lifelong education of the child/children, reprimanding, counseling of personal matters and having a genuine interest in matters close to the child's heart.  Having love that is unconditional, infinite and without judgement is a must.  Individuals that will be required to raise multiple children should be self-aware that their attention is not solely fixed on one child while the others are neglected.  This job offers no benefits package or monetary compensation.  However, depending on your expertise in the field of fathering you will be handsomely rewarded daily with hugs, kisses, school crafts, smiles, giggles, cuddles and that funny feeling in your chest when you have completed a satisfactory job.  If you believe you have what it takes, than look no further.  Become a Father and enjoy the results of your labors with a lifelong supply of pride and joy.